It wasn’t until my cousin told me “they’re not going to know how to love you until you teach them how” that I realized I had some work to do.
image by: Alex lby
This required me to dive deep into what my inner child feared and felt they never received, creating a belief that I wasn’t allowed to be happy. The biggest eye-opening moment for me was realizing I wasn’t spending enough time with people who supported my dreams, respected my boundaries, and created a safe space for me to feel and be.
It’s a scary feeling to engage in a conversation that has gone horribly wrong in the past, but I’ve found that it’s much scarier in my head than what actually plays out in reality. This is not to say that tears will not be shed (and occasionally, a couple “fuck you’s”) but I’m only human. The best I can do is learn from my pain and make sure to implement my lessons whenever triggered again.
My secret? 2 Rules:
- I’m quick to admit when I’m wrong.
- Being wrong doesn’t measure your worth or your intelligence. We all make mistakes; why not learn the facts straight?
- I’m quick to apologize.
- It may not have been the intention to hurt someone, but if I do, a simple sorry opens up the relationship to deeper trust, respect, and a stronger bond. At the end of the day, we all just want to be seen, heard, and understood.
The quicker I am to implement these rules, the less resentment and frustrations arise in my life. If these rules work out for you, let me hear your story in the comments below!
Love y’all,
Taynahmite